2022 - Brussels

Belgium.  What do you know about Belgium?  Jean Claude Van Dam loved the country of his birth so much he took Russian citizenship. 

Waffles. 

Pomme Frites. 

Its famous beer. 

Cricket would not feature in the top 1000 things Belgium is known for and therefore made an ideal location for Oslo Aliens CC’s 2022 tour.  A cricket team who do not seem to be completely sure if they like cricket.  Even before our planes and trains had departed Oslo, London, Edinburgh, Paris – the WhatsApp group was ablaze with chat with ways not to play cricket.  The servers almost broke when it looked like Sunday would be a wash out and therefore require alternative activity. 

As we arrived at Midi station in the centre of Brussels, many of us were asking “so, where is the nice part of Brussels?”  The sight of freshly deposited human turds around the station led us to the conclusion this was not it.   

The band of brothers, who braved the early flight for the promise of child free beers, set out in search of another Belgian classic:  South Indian lunch.  If we were not sure why we were in Belgium or whether we like to play cricket, we are united in our love of Indian food.  An Oslo Aliens Curry Club tour might be the most popular tour yet.  The food was tremendous. 

Bellies full, we went in search of the nice bit of Brussels.  We stopped at an old building.  We saw a statue of small girl urinating.  We saw a statue of a small boy urinating.  And then the moment came, the first pub.  Belgium makes great beer.   

“Oh, that’s a bit sweet.” 

“Hoppy.  A little too hoppy.  How’s yours?” 

“Ah, alright I suppose.” 

Our search had turned into one for both the nice bit of Brussels and a nice beer.  The Aliens took this search very seriously.   

By the evening, we had a full cricket team of people, but our search was still to be concluded. 

As we made our way to the cricket ground near Waterloo on the Saturday morning, many of us were asking the questions that mattered “Waterloo? That was a battle or something?” “Anyone know what is was about?”  “Who decided we needed to play forty overs?” “Isn’t this nicer than Brussels?”. 

We were hosted by the Royal Brussels Cricket Club.  As we sat down in the sun, in front of a real club house with cold beer in the fridge, with whites on, with a shiny red ball ready to be unwrapped, some of us remembered that this is what cricket feels like.  Others were saying “Forty overs? Seriously, whose decision was this?” 

Batting first - after Jarred had either stolen the captaincy or taken the initiative – hopes were high that one of our openers could score the first Aliens double century.  Well, not the opener who was Branson.   

In the world of the IPL and Big Bash, the pace of the Aliens’ batting was more 1980 limited over cricket.  We made a little over two hundred.  The 40 overs was expertly overseen by Dan at square leg; far enough away from people he didn’t have to speak to them, close enough to the action he felt involved, in a role with an amount of officiousness that meant people wouldn’t approach him.  He may have found his heaven. 

After a tasty biryani, Alien’s opened up in the usual way.  The enthusiasm after an early wicket or two for Damon.  A couple of maidens.  Accurate bowling by Jarred.  Shanta rolling back the years. 

And then the predictable decline. 

And then the Aliens began to show their true elite side.  The military was scrambled to find the sniper that had taken down Jarred, who rolled on the ground like an extra from Jarhead.  But he popped his groin. 

Peter’s inability to bowl to left handers ended with the ball being smashed back at him. Result: split webbing. 

By now, Shanta was halfway to Paris with a cigar in his mouth. 

Scottish Pete, who had spent more time than anyone searching for the nice bit of Brussels, was now fielding in a Hawaiian shirt and Peter was at short third man with a bandaged hand. 

Comparisons to Ben Stokes have been made a number of times to Peter.  That ability to create moments of inspiration.  As the ball sailed over his head at short third man, only Ben Stokes and Peter could think “Yeah, I got this.“  He leapt/stood on his tip toes, and snatched the ball out of mid-air with the only hand he had available to him.  He’ll go for big money in the next IPL auction. 

After a brief moment of exaltation, the game slowly fizzled out until a bloke from the boundary shouts “it’s over.” And everyone else goes, “oh, OK” 

Thanks to RBCC. 

With an inability to field anything like a team on Sunday, we were forced to cancel our game.  Instead, most of the Aliens went to Bruges for the day.  A lovely town which left us all concluding that Bruges is the nice part of Brussels.   

Beer. Food.  

Final morning: Brewery (the author of these words is getting lethargic). 

As we took off from Brussels airport, content we had found the nice part of Brussels, many of us came to a shuddering conclusion; maybe Ringnes is not that bad.

Brussels itself is a city of great food and beer and will be fun base.

When: Games will be played on 23.04 and 24.04